I played Barbie’s on my bed with friends named Eileen and Jolene.
An age of innocence and monsters underneath.
Singing along to a Mentos commercial
In a full moon
we started smoking cigarettes talking about
French kissing and sex.
Once upon a dream a boy came along
we started to watch a movie on a vcr
it was five minutes in and he put his hand
on my leg and everything in me caught fire
I lost nothing between my sheets
Even though I thought I was supposed to
was I woman now? Was I woman before?
I don’t know me. I don’t understand.
I wrote XO on his forehead when he told me he loved me
it was around the time
I started shedding my skin
biting down on my clothes to
keep from screaming wasn’t enough anymore
In the mirror that’s not me, she’s not me
why am I disappearing in everything
and it got worse
I couldn’t hide it
and everyone started to see me
Now once a week
my sister pours water on me
she said flowers will sprout
all over me and I won’t feel sad anymore
but I dissolve into my mattress
and my mother comes in everyday
asks if I’m okay and says you are my sunshine
and hopes I start to sing like I always did.
